June, u finally here.

Goodmorning June. I am up early and am loving this. I should be doing this quite often. Sleeping and waking up alomst immediately. It keeps me abreast of what others are doing, especially now that I visit blogs more often than not. I think I love my phone. I can easily blog with it.

Many a times I have considered myself a lover of sleep. I can quite perform in this sector. Like in April, I would go to sleep at two in the morning and wake up at ten. Then feel not guilty. I have come to understand that many people consider sleep a source of poverty. Isnt it funny, to be advised by a doctor,who barely slept during his/her study,and still does, to have enough sleep? Perhaps we should know what exacty they mean because using such relative words is equally confusing.

When I was in secondary, there was this teacher who would patrol the dormitory area, shouting 'doctors are up, watchmen are still sleeping' ofcourse no one wanted to end up as a watchman, I dont know if anyone realy wanted to be a doctor either. But apparently this trick worked for this teacher. The idea behind it was that those who sleep too much end up sleeping less hours in future(when they should be sleeping) while those who sleep less hours now will have plenty of sleeping to do. Dont you see, this analogy is so right,well,until someone came up with working SMART. Could he be the lazy one. Or does it actually hold water? Well I think fusing the two can work well,for me.

I was talking to someone I love and she was telling how this sleep thing is gonna make me poor,just as herself,yet when she was in school, she used to wake up the earliest,not to mention that she went to bed late in the night. She has a job and she still 'cries' that she's poor.

Is poverty a choice,curse or lack of vision. I dont know. But I know that people decide exactly where they want to go. And get there. The time taken doesnt really matter, just that one attained his/her dream sums up everything. Its a decision people make. And accept the challenges that come there way. And work out a strategy to overcome them. I have met people I admire yet they have not managed to attain an education level like myself. I know for a fact that most rich people,95% are self employed. They searched for employment,some got tired on the way,and began their own journey,and are successful while others got the jobs, learned on the way that they could not attain their dream while working for somebody, quit that job and ventured in private practice,and are reaping the fruits.

I met someone, through an uncle of mine. This guy has been without a job, for all he can remember, no parents or supporting relatives. He has battled his own way and he seems to be on his way to success. He says nothing can put him down,he has developed life shock absorbers,more than he needs them. He has a firm and in the process of registering an NGO. He got a job recently,just when he dindnt need it, he took it because he wants to inject more capital to his firm and finish his NGO mission. Sometimes I look at the one who give jobs and never understand Him. He can really test your ground before He delivers you from that bondage.

Through the support of many of my friends,and relatives, who have continously supported me with ideas,and never seem to give up, I want to make a difference, not just in my life,but in the life of many people.

Anyway, in life, lean to be positive,that doesnt guarantee you that everything will be positive. But will give you the strength you need to push on. God provides, it does not matter the timing. In Him, we are all equal, He gives without considering who you are. He actually made you that way,so why would he consider it. I want to learn to appreciate Him the more.

Perhaps next time I log in to this site, I should have a clear reason. Because I just wrote on something I did not expect. I actually wasnt coming here. I was headed for facebook. Then ended up here. To read your blogs,but now am publishing mine.

May I take this chance to wish the very best on this day and the rest of the month. Remember June is just started.

When i turned one more leaf over.

There are endings and beginings in this life. I just had mine,ended one yr and began another. Life on this side of the coin looks more appetizing than last year. In all this,I want to acknowledge the Almighty God for His unending love and mercies. Ama bask in it for the rest of my life.

I began a new job. A job I didnt consider as such before. I am in marketing. Yet I did Risk management,and Insurance. They go hand in hand with it but then again, I thought maybe I will just apply for that one job and the employer will find it irrestable to ignore me. I mean am like no other,we graduated only three people, pioneers in Moi Uni. Well, I think the job market had other ideas, I applied to all insurance companies ,around 50, and none would find my cv fitting. What would would explain, I wondered all through with no answers.

So I left that notion,of hoping to get an office employment,ever. That life remains in last year,this new year means the start of new things,ideas, but most importantly , I want to enjoy doing my new job. And earn a leaving from it.

You see, it has involved alot of soul searching,for quite some time. I have had several jobs, all on contract basis. At first I would think that they were the best. But as days went by, I would slowly fall back in that very trap. Fighting my conscience as to whether that was the job for me. They all provided some financial relief(except one,TEC Institute) but that wasnt doing me good, they would not let me enjoy the freedom of choice. So I got down with myself to discuss about 'our' future. We decided to tore the line, enjoy, help people and succeed.

I went visiting my folks. And thats where I got what would be the undertone of my success. I have an uncle,multi-disciplinary-fitting to call him. You wouldnt ask a question he daent have an idea about. I think he was God sent on this day,he was supposed to be at work,but he was here, with me. He told me of an approach I already believe will work for me. Funny thing is that I knew some of the facts about insurance but I dont use them to convince my clients. I might not have gotten what I went there to do but he set the ground rolling. He opened my mind, like I never stepped in a class. Lemme take this space to say that I owe him the success that lies ahead of me.

So from now on, I want to talk more risk mgt & insurance. I want to educate you about insurance and the aspects of risk. You should buy insurance,not for my sake but for the sake of those you love,including you.

I have just gotten off listening to 'A new day has come' by Celine Dion. And clearly this new day for me,unlike Celine,marks the end of desperation and the begining of prosperity,life and love. Again, I wouldnt be here,forget about finding myself, were it not for the love and mercies that come from God. So like me, always remember to say thank you to the most high.
END.

Life and death

Wazzup guys?been long huh?well just now i've been reviewing what life is all about.every morning you wake up to new adventures and challenges and every evening we lie down in bed preparing to tackle whatever lies ahead of us,i mean to us it is totally normal to wake up the next morning but do we ever stop to think what would happen if you didn't wake up the next morning?do we stop to consider what that guy in the icu is feeling? I bet we dont.you know just recently a dear friend of mine was involved in an accident.of course after being you expect a guy to be like apologetic and stuff but then this guy looked me in the eye and told me 'hey hels weve got one life to live one day you witness an accident while the nxt day you are involved in one.make sure you utilise your life before you are involved in one.' this guy got me thinnking, just how many people have i helped,how many have you?

That fateful day

All my life. And mean all of it. I have always felt distant,disconnected and unloved by my parents. Well,maybe am past that age of whining about it. But I feel the effects. Effects I ignored all along; of resentment,hatred,self-esteem(lack of it),unable to see myself in a positive way and anti-social behaviour. I battle with with these questions everytime I meeet my parents,or meet guys who had the previlege to sample how sweet these values are from a younger age.

I must however appreciate them for the far I have come,they've catered for my education, shelter,clothing and food. This is a foundation I hang on every day. Looking back,I see alot childhood friends who never made this far,neither do they dream of. Some look far much beter than I think they should while others look far worse than I think they should. In all these ,I thank God for I can make out the difference. God says there's a reason why we are where we are,and born to our parents. There are probably more guys who went through even worse things than I have had to endure,but they made it. And they are not complaining. Well, am not. Am just documenting it. To keep track of where am from and shape my God desired destiny. Thats how it gonna be.

Recently, actually two weeks ago, I lost my uncle,from mum's side. He is one of the most jovial people I have met so far. I have spent considerable amount of time at his home,with his children. We've mingled with them at almost evry level. Then the guy,my father,brings up this rediculus reason why I should only attend his burial and come back the same day. I just went blank for a moment,not because of that one day,but the reason. I couldnt conceptualize a thing he said in that rage. I told him that was an awkward position for me and will not abide by his rules,given the relationship. It was the lowest moment of my life. He just drained the last hope of rejuvinating any relationship with him. It was the last thing he should have done. I hate restrictions,kind of I have control issues.

So the following day I decide to consult a certain elder, he's spiritual and understands our family kidogo. He counsels me thro' and says,at the end of the day,he's your father,he has high blood pressure and you still have youger siblings who need him more. You never know what might happen and the blame could fall squarely on you. I thought about that, and said crap. To hell with whatever happens(how irresponsible, I thot later). Then later that day,the phone rings,and its him,he says its ok,I can go anyday I want,he's also considering the same. Then it hit me. He was shocked that I could actually disagree with him,and tell it to his face(only that it was over the phone). He knew he was gonna loose and me, the winner,thats why he rescinded his earlier decision,or so I thot. So I decided to disagree with him,once again.

I did not attend the funeral and it hurt me,esp. because we were in a competition/disagreement,with my dad. He finally went for the funeral,perhaps to register the fact that some ties can never be wished away. Good for him, I guess.

This might just be as confusing to you. But maybe alittle history could shed some light.......

A career in the wrong direction.

When I was young,like in class 2,there was this one time I had to steel money from my dad, not because it was my habit. I just wanted to show off these guys in school who were obsessed with money. They would show off their little pennies every break,lunch and evening times. So I got angry. Angry at myself for not possessing anything to show off. And no, my parents were not broke,atleast not to that extend. They believed in bringing a child in difficulties to appreciate life(or so I thot). This feeling grew up inside me I couldnt sit on it anymore. So I decided, to do the one thing I never thot would ever attempt.

I developed a habit of searching my dad's shirt,trouser pockets but for a very long time I never got lucky(he must have known I was either looking for it or nature was taking its course). They were always empty. Then this one day, I remember it was a Sunday(never used to go to church coz it meant sunday school which had boring proceedings,nway, so was tthe main service). I went searching from pocket to pocket and luckly dad had offloaded one of his bulls and kept the money their. I sighed with relief as my hands touched the soft notes folded in the coat. I actually took my time and picked some notes but never counted how much and left the room.

Nothing much happened later that day but as a thief, u always leave trace marks. I went talking to my brother about some money apparently I had landed my hands,this was clean money, about 25 shillings and wanted to impress him the following day with a piece of sugar cane. Turns out this was the self increminating point. The following day in class at ten,mum comes knocking in class and picks me. She starts questioning me about the money and as I struggle to mumble something, she adds that my brother had told her about a story told of money. 'cos I did not admit but the pressure mounted on me then, pushed me crashing in the walls of surrender. A househelp had crept behind me and found his way to my uniform. Obviously I had no bank account and the most used clothes carried the money. So he found the money stashed in one of the pockets. I went numb,it was over for me.

The biggest lesson I learnt then was that my mum could kill me if my career would suggest anything like theft. I now know that she actually loved me and would by all means raise a child who would have respect for other people's property. But she never believed in a diplomatic approach esp.where her kids were involved.
She would hit us as though it was a of blessings to all of us.

I mastered the art of self reliant even in the hardest of situations. This is the best part of life,self reliant. Though its not entirely true,is it? Years later, when I asked her about the beating,she gave this story.......

Of superiority and inferioty.

Lately I have been watching lots of TV,given my history with it. One of the mot fascinating channels I watch without complaining is the Nat Geo world. It features wild animals and explore everything in their wake;lifestyle/cycle, adaptation, development,etc.

There was this feature one time about how baboons are likened to us. We were once like them, or so they wanted me to believe(scientists ofcourse). They tried measuring their intelligence,like how they would approach a certain problem,much like we do,how emotional they are,how communal they can get. And there were remarkable lessons I learnt but what they dindnt tell us was that these baboons do not have a reward system. They were put in a certain cage where they had to seek help in order to gain access to food.This was the centre of there interest.

So when I sat down to watch Tyra Bank's show the other night and she reached out to the people in the sex industry. Apparently these guys cannot leave a normal life,or think the same way others,say in the manufacturing industry do. So she comes up with a model town where they have to act like its their formal. They have to come up with laws that will govern them, elect leaders and assign different people roles,according to their character. They fight as they choose who fits where,much like we do when choosing who sits where in our political arena. As found out, these guys behaved in a manner everyone of us would.

I got myself thinking after that show how demeaning we are,led by Tyra Bank to think that people in such an sector are incapable of thinking in a direction the rest of us wouldnt. It actually reminded me of Nat Geo World channel and not worth mentioning it here,only that I did.

Me,life and March

Finally we had the rains. Alot of ppl would be waiting for it @ this time of the year(esp. Farmers,n dad). He took his annual leave just to plant maize. But that aside,the fresh smell of soil,the chill feeling it comes with,the heavy rain drops(I often think it expects something frm us,ever listened carefully?like it rains really hard n suddenly stops?to what?listen to what we r saying?). Nyhuu,thts what I was waitng for,now tht I reflect back.

So I spend most of the time in Kapsabet. Its a small town(u can practically count the residents without calling on KNBS). Its very silent,clean environ,plenty of milk,lots of culture,friendly neighbours,more like an extended family,same as our rural home in Mukuyuni(BGM).

Otieno(Ot) is the guy in the neighbourhood who is mentally sick,or so we think, bt his calm,repect,sanctity of life in him n the religious believe wil get u thinking otherwise. He would approach dad with a line like"pls help with 20 shillings I tek to church as an offering" n dad wil not only give him bt the praises I got abt him frm his Eng to humility left me buffled.

Life is one interesting phenomenon as I would get to learn from my smal bro(Hagen),he wrote,"life is bt a race,hw u end it is wat matters. Every man will die,hw n whr is wat differs as they also say,every man is mad,the %is wat varies. Life will never be fair,to one,God will give a couch n to another a stool n yet they all live under Him." I guess this summarises my relationship with Ot.

Colonnel Gaddafi is staying put in tht apperantly hot seat. The NATO is leading the air strikes. He swore today that he's not gonna step down or wat does this statement mean"they have started something dangerous,something they cannot control. It will be out of their control no matter wat methods of destruction they have at their disposal" where did akina Nelson Mandelas go to. Is it gonna always be like this in third world countries? Or is it a case of vested interest by the developed nations? Either way, the sanctity of life must be preserved.

The world criket got underway in India,did I mention its their second religion after Hindu? Those guys adore the game. I don't even know hw its scored. They qualified for the finals on 2nd April n I don see ny one in their way.

Japan. Definately this country has endured alot. Any country would cramble under such a tragedy. Do those nuclear reactors contain plutonium? Found out its the deadiliest chem available(frm Law n Order). Kudos to Japan for the good work,u definately knw that the most precious resource is your citezens. God's blessings is all I can pray for.

God's blessings,lots of friends,love,peace of mind for April. Champions league(can I smell them haters),Cricket finals,Masters(Tiger woods wil be making a come back). Ot, fresh air and this blog will stay on to inspire,remind and help keep the most treasured of memories. God bless n remember to count your blessings.