letter to my other self

I'm seated in the office.Alone. It's Tues afternoon and the glass of water beside me is not doing any good to calm the situation. I take a sip as I ponder on the next move. seems like i'm not gonna be able to handle any assignment today. The aroma from a guest house erected recently behind our office is doing alot of harm to my gluttonous enzymes and as I shift my butts in this sit, I shift my mind as well, from how I will enroll for my masters to the long tiring walk back home after work to getting a stable job to thinking abt my ex to finally the other self,the whole arena is not sovour to me,nyhuu,this other side of me,the bad side,the side I wud do nything to hide from u, thot I shud write a letter to him just in case he messes up himself and blames it on me.

So, I know u blame urself for not being that almost perfect being that u always wanted,well, i'm here to tell u that so far u have done marvelously it surprises me. Don't struggle for what u can't have control over,be satisfied with the lil' u gain. I know u have this tendency to judge others, in most cases harshly,well u gat to learn slowly as u try to adjust,this things take time,u know. I was at the rest. The other day as we sipped on the hot coffee, u told me u thot this other chick seated next table was hot, I encouraged u to say hi and compliment her but she ignored u, I cud see u felt dejected,thts not the case, I wud like u think of her as..er..goofy? I mean, she daent know she's hot,so don't stop there, we gat ALOT of girls who wud want jst that, a genuine compliment.

I also understand that u r blaming it on ur mama for making u feeling like an average performer and this has taken toll on u.man! keep ur head up. U the best. No one makes u inferior without ur consent remember? she also killed ur self esteem and confidence but I have no doubt with the progress u have, u gonna emerge victorious.

Like i sed, u think u have problems with this 'social life' thing, but I tell u, it helps u in avoiding so many mistakes. U kip wondering why so many people wud cheat on their ladies with 2 or three chics while u cant find one,not even one, but I assure u, there's one in the offing, God has it that u will have not only a girlfriend but a wife to make u a home. Ever wondered why u sometimes catch me glancing at u and just smiling? its because u r amazingly handsome,so stop wasting time in front of that mirror wishing u had smaller eyes and head(thts wat ur mum made u believe,its not true), thts God's design.

Alot of ladies wanna be with u,talk to u but they don't know just how to approach the issue, speak up man, don't look goofy to 'em,makes them shy away.u r interesting.very interesting. u just don't know that. open up to 'em and share anything,everything,one will fall in love with u 'cos of that.i know its a lil'hard for u now because of this one lady(i understand u love her,but u think she daent) but i can assure u that if she's the one for u, everything will work out.if doesn't,it was never meant to be, u r not the mistake, u loved her right and wanted what's best for her, she jst din't appreciate that.

You are a victim of contradiction, u feel this way and do the other way,say this and act the opposite,u confuse me u know and many others,last Friday u were at the bar.what? I saw u. It was against ur wish,wasn't it? U took three beers but u were not drunk (i mean staggering drunk,sometimes u amaze me with ua cool pose,even after that one two.. drinks). Then u became mad that u took them and u din't feel the way u expected,this is not ur hang out place,u never gonna enjoy it. Get it now. How i wish u cud stop ol this nonsense, its not helping u know. Ol it does is spend ur hard earned cash and spoil ur health. I believe u can change. I believe.

I always wanted to read everything i laid my eyes on but u were conveniently there to disrupt me with sleep,girly thots, movies, songs but now i'm here to tell u that u don't need to regret because u wish u had given me the time to study, i mean i know we will be better placed but neither a we doing badly. I forgive u for that behavior (but dont repeat) and instead blame it on me for allowing u to overpower me.

As we were sleeping last night, i noticed u were very relaxed and care free in ur sleep, this is a part i really admire u.u just live in the moment. I wish i cud copy that and just live now like its the last moment in my life. So u see, someone admires u. A role model.

At this moment, a roaring sound of a car(not any of the fuel guzzlers) is heard from the distance and as I peep to see, they are here,the boss,the staff,they r finally back,oh, how i wish they cud stay there a while longer. There's alot to write home about. Alot. My mind switches back to work. Well, expected work. I glance sideways just in time to avoid eye contact with the 'mdosi' as i feel stings of tears touch the lower end of my eye(u mean it was that emotional,but just to m